Current Location: PHCS » Offices and Groups » School Psychologist » Previous Articles
Articles on this Page
Getting a Handle on Homework: Whose homework is this, anyway?
Contributed by Mary Kay Hafer, School Psychologist
Source: Parenting Insights Premiere Issue 1994
During this past school year, I have had the opportunity to hear from many parents who are frustrated about homework issues, and how to improve their children’s homework completion. As with all parenting challenges, it does help to swap strategies and realize that our families aren’t the only ones struggling to incorporate homework into busy schedules. Making sure kids do homework successfully depends upon setting strong expectations at home as well as at school. Making children responsible and independent are two of homework’s most valuable by-products. The following common complaints and suggestions apply to children of all ages:
- “No Time”: We make time for things that are important, whether it’s soccer practice or tooth brushing. Parents can help by teaching children to keep a weekly calendar to schedule homework along with sports, lessons, play and other activities. Homework time should be dedicated to academic pursuits, such as reading – whether or not there is an assignment due. This helps kids start long-term projects before the last minute and discourages dashing our sloppy work. If you can’t be there in person, you may need to check in by phone at first or impose consequences when you get home.
- “No End”: If homework is dragging on all night, make sure the study area is free from distractions such at TV or squabbling siblings. Give an incentive, such as being able to do a fun activity when the homework is done. Set a deadline for homework and stick to it. Kids learn by facing the consequences for late or incomplete work.
- “No Interest”: If your child gripes that homework is boring, she’s probably right. Life is full of boring, but important, tasks. However, don’t overlook ways to make learning fun: playing geography games, using fractions when making cookies, playing a quiz game in the car. If your child’s homework seems developmentally off base, talk to his teacher.
- “No Assignments”: How many times have you heard this one? If you suspect your child should have more homework, call his teacher for clarification or send in a note. A contract system that chalks up positive points words for some youngsters; others need to lose privileges such as playtime, TV/phone calls if the work is not brought home.
- “No Concentration”: Be sure the study area is free from distractions. Some studies have claimed that listening to classical music can sharpen concentration. This might be a good alternative for those kids who insist on having some background noise present while doing homework.
- “No Clue”: If your child is genuinely baffled, help him break the material into small, manageable parts. Have her talk to her teacher and schedule a teacher conference if your child consistently “doesn’t get it”. Be sensitive to your child’s learning style and to potential learning disabilities that might call for special tactics or tutoring.
- “No Independence”: If your child insists on having you at his desk, break away and make it clear that he must do homework on his own. Don’t give any help until the child has tackled the problem at least twice. Then, assist him by questioning. For example, if your child asks, “Do I put a comma here?” say, “Look at your checklist- do you remember the rule for clauses?” Don’t ever do your child’s homework. It cheats him out of valuable practice, teacher feedback and self-esteem.
- “No Cooperation”: If you and your child are always at loggerheads, back off and put someone else on the front line. Try your spouse or see if the school can refer you to a tutor.
- “No Problem”: Even if your child is getting good grades, watch out for bad habits – such as working with the TV on, or leaving things to the last minute- that could turn into problems later when the schoolwork becomes more demanding. However, if your child is doing good work, don’t bug him with rules made for other people’s kids. Your know your child and yourself better than anyone!
Some resources that parents might wish to look at for additional tips include: Homework Without Tears by Lee Canter and Dr. Lee Hausner (Harper and Row, 1988) or How to help your child with homework by Marguerite Radenech and Jean Shay Schumm (Free Spirit Publishing, 1988)),
Time On Task
Contributed by Mary Kay Hafer, School Psychologist
Source: NASP Handouts
Many students struggle with maintaining their
attention and focus during classroom lessons and tasks, especially at the
elementary school level. Teachers and parents are often looking for ideas to
help these students increase their "time on task", thereby promoting better
learning and retention of the material being taught to them. The following
suggestions may be helpful to consider, when working with students:
1) The teacher and the student should review on-task behavior expectations. Teachers can made sure students understand what it means to "begin work immediately", "work quietly", "remain seated", "ask good questions", "complete work", "work carefully" and "follow instructions" Understanding these seven on-task behaviors is critical because students and teachers need to clearly target specific behaviors in order to properly reinforce them.
2) Immediate Reinforcers: As frequently as possible, during the school day, the student should be given immediate verbal praise whenever any of the above mentioned behaviors are displayed. "I like the way you began work right away!" "I like how quietly you are working!"
3) Mini-Conferences: At several previously decided upon times during the day, the teacher has a one to two minute conference with the child. Making use of an on-task sticker sheet, the teacher can give the student a sticker and verbal praise for each of the seven on-task behaviors demonstrated during the just completed instructional period. For example the teacher might say: "you completed your work! You've really earned this sticker!" Also, encouragement and instruction regarding on-task behaviors not displayed should be offered. For example, the teacher might say: "Looks like you added instead of subtracting on some of these problems. That's not working carefully and I can't give your this sticker. I know you can earn this sticker next time! Remember to pay attention to the operation sign on these next math problems". Natural times to hold these conferences would be before each recess and lunch period, and at the end of the day.
4) Daily Rewards: Set a goal for the number of stickers to be earned each day and write this down, sharing the goal with the student. If the student reaches the on-task behavior goal, one daily reward can be given. A behavior contract should be written to specify what rewards are earned when the goal is met. For example, a positive note could be sent home to the child's parents. This would also serve the dual purpose of facilitating good home-school communication and encourage the parent to further reinforce the positive on-task behaviors seen at school.
5) Weekly Rewards: As an optional component of this program, the teacher and child may also set a weekly goal for the number of stickers to be earned. If the goal is reached, the reward might include the privilege of participating in a special activity on Friday afternoon, such as eating lunch with the teacher or some other goal that can be readily provided. The weekly total of stickers needed to earn the reward may be increased as the student's on-task behavior improves.
These ideas are worth a try! They take time on the part of the teacher, student and sometimes the parents as well; but if the child is able to increase his or her time on task, the "pay offs" can include improved self-esteem, better relationship with the classroom teacher, and increased probability of effectively learning the classroom material. I have copies of on-task, daily sticker sheets, notes to send to parents, and weekly sticker total sheets available for teachers to use, which might make setting up such a program more convenient.
Holiday Stress: Some Ideas for Making it Through with Your Sanity Intact!
Contributed by Mary Kay Hafer, School Psychologist
With the arrival of the holiday season rapidly approaching, many families experience a great deal of stress. In addition to shopping duties, writing holiday cards, decorating, cooking and baking, visiting with friends and relatives there is the additional stress of paying for it all! Before you feel that you are on melt down, consider the following strategies to help cope with the holiday onslaught:
1) Consider what is really important to your family; pay attention to the faith-based nature of the upcoming holidays, if that is your reason for celebrating them in the first place.
2) You may want to focus on doing one thing really well, and letting some other things slide. for instance, you might want to make some terrific cookies and deserts, while buying a lot of other holiday meal items pre-prepared at the store or a take-out place (lots of stores and restaurants provide holiday trays and special "package" deals that can cut time and yet provide elegant, tasty treats!)
3) Do you really need to send out 100 Xmas cards??
4) Try to find time to be alone, away from the stress of dealing with visiting relatives or houses full of people. Take a calming walk, bath, or visit one of our fine local museums, libraries or art galleries.
5) Remember that volunteering, or offering to help others, is a wonderful and inexpensive gift that most people never forget. Instead of sending expensive gifts, visit an elderly friend in a nursing home or give an old friend a call on the phone. Have a chat with someone who has lost a dear loved one and offer to get them out of the house, if they are willing.
6)Watch children. It makes you slow down and realize what all the hoopla is about. Enjoy their excitement...it is contagious!
7)Try to keep up on any exercise program that you have already put into place. It can help combat those extra holiday calories, and give you a mental boost as well. There's nothing like a little tobogganing with kids to help you feel toasty warm and happy!
8) Try to spend some time around adults who really enjoy the holidays and who have a wonderful sense of humor and balance in their lives. It helps to put things into perspective and encourages us to see the lighter side of ourselves.
9) Don't forget about your senses...try to spend at least a few minutes our doors each day if you can. Taste a falling snow flake; smell the clean pure winter air; notice the changes in wildlife and the way the sky or stars look on a certain day. Feel the cold, but also feel the warmth of bundling up in cozy mittens, scarves and boots. Listen to snow crunching under your boots and be grateful for the serenity of the North Country.
10) Remember to reward yourself for the accomplishments you have achieved at work and with your family during the preceding year. We all need to be reminded of the good works we do; don't forget to thank and remind others of their accomplishments and kind deeds as well. That truly is the spirit of the season!
Academic Motivation
Contributed by Mary Kay Hafer, School Psychologist
Academic motivation refers to a student's desire to learn, engage in learning related activities and find school activities meaningful. Usually we want to help develop student's intrinsic motivation - a desire to perform well in the classroom because it is important and rewarding for the student. What can teachers and parents do to help enhance academic motivation? Here are a few ideas to consider as this exciting new school year gets underway:
* Work to establish warm, caring relationships with all students. Being in an atmosphere that is supportive enhances motivation by decreasing the fear of failure.
* Communicate your concern, acceptance and empathy for the plight of students who are not academically motivated. Frequently a side effect of poor academic motivation is to feel that teachers do not like them and, often, children with poor academic motivation may be viewed in a negative light. Go out of your way to communicate otherwise. And keep at it, even if the student doesn't respond or says he "doesn't care". Often it has taken a long time for this pattern to develop, and it may take some time to turn it around.
* Model for students enthusiasm. love for learning and effective learning/organizational strategies at home and at school.
* Maintain high but realistic expectations for student performance throughout their academic career.
* Focus on effort, not ability, when talking to kids about academics. Many students believe that the key to doing well is ability. Let them know that often the real key to learning is effort and practice. When students are successful, focus on what they did to be successful. When they do not succeed, have them focus on what they could do differently to be a more effective learner.
* Help students to set specific, short term goals for learning; ones that are challenging yet achievable.
* Have students identify their long term life goals, if possible, and let them see the connection between learning now, and reaching that goal. Encourage them to have a challenging and yet realistic view of what they can aspire to for the future.
* Give specific feedback to students about how they are doing in meeting their learning goals.
Classrom organization can also contribute to improved academic
motivation:
* Develop classroom routines that provide some structure for students and that creates a comfortable and predictable classroom environment.
* Recognize students for what they have learned (how they have improved), not for being better than other students.
* Teach learning and study strategies to your children/students. Often lack of strategies is what contributes to difficulties in learning, which in turn contributes to decreased motivation.
* If you choose to use rewards for learning, be specific about what the student has done well. Present the reinforcement AFTER the student's successful performance, and in such a way as to let students know they are rewarded for learning, not working for rewards.
Instruction practices can also increase academic motivation:
* Altering the rate of instruction, the method of instruction, or the amount of work may be necessary to accommodate the diversity in any given classroom.
* Cooperative learning strategies that emphasize learning, rather than individual competition can be useful at times. All must contribute to the final learning product.
* Some kids will find learning tasks more interesting by including action in the lessons. Projects, case studies and role-playing may all be ways to increase interest in learning activities.
* Tell students what the objective of each lesson or activity is. Help them know in advance what to expect to learn and where to focus their attention.
* Let students include their areas of interest in your assignments. If you want a student to learn to read better, it may help to have him read about a special interest such as baseball. If you are teaching math, have a student who is interested in being a fireman learn to calculate pump pressure for the fire equipment. Guest speakers might be useful in such situations!
Let's start out this new year with vigor and excitement, so that our
children/students will "catch the feeling" and be academically motivated to
have a great 2007-2008 school year!
Self-Esteem: Some Information for Parents
(Contributed by Mary Kay Hafer, School Psychologist)
Our knowledge about ourselves often includes ideas such as artistic, athletic, creative, tall. These ideas make up our self-concept - who I am. An important component of self-concept is self-esteem, which represents how we feel about or value ourselves. Self-esteem is important because having poor self-esteem has been associated with depression, suicide, low academic achievement, and susceptibility to peer pressure and problems with the legal system.
Beginning at about age 8, kids begin to have a global sense of themselves and of their competencies in five areas:
- academic ability or skill;
- athletic competence;
- social acceptance;
- physical appearance; and
- behavioral conduct.
Usually, low self-esteem is a result of a discrepancy between the importance of an area and the person's perception of his or her competence in that area. For instance, some people may not think they are good athletes, but they do not value that trait very much and so it does not affect their self-esteem. On the contrary, if a child very much values social acceptance and does not feel he/she is getting it, self-esteem can be negatively affected. The importance of positive regard from our significant others (parents, peers and teachers) has been shown to be a critical determinant of self-esteem, despite the fact that some kids will state that they do not care what others think about them.
The following are characteristics of children and teens that tend to have low self-esteem:
- a reluctance to learn new things or an avoidance of challenge. Children with low self-esteem may ask parents for help or refuse to do things by themselves
- Frequent negative self-statements ("I can't", "I'm not good at anything").
- Excessive criticism of other people and down playing the achievements of siblings or peers
- Over reacting to a perception of negative opinions of others ( a sigh or frown from a parent, despite being assured that the negative cue was unrelated to their performance).
- Overreaction to mild anxiety-provoking stimuli such as time constraints, healthy competition, or constructive criticism.
- Easily influenced by peers
- Very reactive to the ups and downs of daily life, even for minor events.
What can parents do to help?
- Take a good look at your parenting style Parents who are warm, accepting, concerned and affectionate often have children with high self-esteem.
- Create a harmonious home through clear and fair rules, consistent and fair discipline. Allow opportunities to discuss disagreements within the family.
- Allow your child to have some choice in daily activities within limits. Picking out clothing for school, choosing one meal a week, selecting the book to read at bedtime -all communicate that the child is trusted and valued.
- Be familiar with your child's strengths and weaknesses as well as present ability level. Try to make reasonable demands for school performance based on personal improvement, rather than by comparisons to peers.
- Establish "family time" at least once a week. Allow each child to choose a fun activity (such as a board game, trip to a fast food place, etc) for that time.
- Let your child know that you have confidence that they can do things on their own. Refer to past struggles and point out how they were able to overcome them ("Remember when you had trouble making your bed-you stuck with it and now it is easy for you").
- Assign your child age-appropriate household chores. Reward them for helping the household to run more effectively. Many parents assign their children no chores at all. Even simple chores such as setting out the dishes for dinner, feeding the dog, etc. are helpful.
- Be sure to encourage and support your children. Do not make love and support conditional on a grade or sports game. If they display poor behavior on an occasion, let them know that you may be disappointed about the behavior, but that they can continue to count on your love.
- Model good social problem solving skills. Stress using WORDS to express feelings and discussion as a way to solve family problems. Help your child identify his feelings through reflective listening (say to him, "You look disappointed about not winning that game").
- Encourage your child to try and develop a wide range of skills and hobbies that he can feel successful at. Self-esteem is developed through evaluations of ability in several areas, not just academics.
Some Resources that may Help:
Clemes, H. & Bean, R. (1990). How to raise teenagers' self-esteem. New York: Price, Stern, Sloan.
Fuller, C. (1994). 365 ways to build your child's self-esteem. Colorado Springs, CO: Pinon Press.
Loomans, D. & Loomans, J. (1994). Full esteem ahead: 100 ways to build self-esteem in children and adults. Thiburon, CA: J. Kramer, Inc.
Bullying Prevention: What Schools and Parents Can Do
Contributed by Mary Kay Hafer, School Psychologist
This is a Publication from the National Association of School
Psychologists)
By Andrea Cohn & Andrea Canter, Ph.D., NCSP
National Association of School Psychologists
Bullying is a widespread problem in our schools and communities. The behavior encompasses physical aggression, threats, teasing, and harassment. Although it can lead to violence, bullying typically is not categorized with more serious forms of school violence involving weapons, vandalism, or physical harm. It is, however, an unacceptable anti-social behavior that is learned through influences in the environment, e.g., home, school, peer groups, even the media. As such, it also can be unlearned or, better yet, prevented.
A bully is someone who directs physical, verbal, or psychological aggression or harassment toward others, with the goal of gaining power over or dominating another individual. Research indicates that bullying is more prevalent in boys than girls, though this difference decreases when considering indirect aggression (such as verbal threats).
A victim is someone who repeatedly is exposed to aggression from peers in the form of physical attacks, verbal assaults, or psychological abuse. Victims are more likely to be boys and to be physically weaker than peers. They generally do not have many, if any, good friends and may display poor social skills and academic difficulties in school.
Facts About Bullying
- Bullying is the most common form of violence in our society; between 15% and 30% of students are bullies or victims.
- A recent report from the American Medical Association on a study of over 15,000 6th-10th graders estimates that approximately 3.7 million youths engage in, and more than 3.2 million are victims of, moderate or serious bullying each year.
- Between 1994 and 1999, there were 253 violent deaths in school, 51 casualties were the result of multiple death events. Bullying is often a factor in school related deaths.
- Membership in either bully or victim groups is associated with school drop out, poor psychosocial adjustment, criminal activity and other negative long-term consequences.
- Direct, physical bullying increases in elementary school, peaks in middle school and declines in high school. Verbal abuse, on the other hand, remains constant. The U.S. Department of Justice reports that younger students are more likely to be bullied than older students.
- Over two-thirds of students believe that schools respond poorly to bullying, with a high percentage of students believing that adult help is infrequent and ineffective.
- 25% of teachers see nothing wrong with bullying or putdowns and consequently intervene in only 4% of bullying incidents.
Why Do Some Children and Adolescents Become Bullies?
Most bullying behavior develops in response to multiple factors in the environment—at home, school and within the peer group. There is no one cause of bullying. Common contributing factors include:
- Family factors: The frequency and severity of bullying is related to the amount of adult supervision that children receive—bullying behavior is reinforced when it has no or inconsistent consequences. Additionally, children who observe parents and siblings exhibiting bullying behavior, or who are themselves victims, are likely to develop bullying behaviors. When children receive negative messages or physical punishment at home, they tend to develop negative self concepts and expectations, and may therefore attack before they are attacked—bullying others gives them a sense of power and importance.
- School factors: Because school personnel often ignore bullying, children can be reinforced for intimidating others. Bullying also thrives in an environment where students are more likely to receive negative feedback and negative attention than in a positive school climate that fosters respect and sets high standards for interpersonal behavior.
- Peer group factors: Children may interact in a school or neighborhood peer group that advocates, supports, or promotes bullying behavior. Some children may bully peers in an effort to “fit in,” even though they may be uncomfortable with the behavior.
Why Do Some Children and Adolescents Become Victims?
- Victims signal to others that they are insecure, primarily passive and will not retaliate if they are attacked. Consequently, bullies often target children who complain, appear physically or emotionally weak and seek attention from peers.
- Studies show that victims have a higher prevalence of overprotective parents or school personnel; as a result, they often fail to develop their own coping skills.
- Many victims long for approval; even after being rejected, some continue
to make ineffective attempts to interact with the victimizer.
How Can Bullying Lead to Violence?
- Bullies have a lack of respect for others’ basic human rights; they are more likely to resort to violence to solve problems without worry of the potential implications.
- Both bullies and victims show higher rates of fighting than their peers.
- Recent school shootings show how victims’ frustration with bullying can
turn into vengeful violence.
What Can Schools Do?
Today, schools typically respond to bullying, or other school violence, with reactive measures. However, installing metal detectors or surveillance cameras or hiring police to patrol the halls have no tangible positive results. Policies of “Zero Tolerance” (severe consequence for any behavior defined as dangerous such as bullying or carrying a weapon) rely on exclusionary measures (suspension, expulsion) that have long-term negative effects.
Instead, researchers advocate school-wide prevention programs that promote a positive school and community climate. Existing programs can effectively reduce the occurrence of bullying; in fact, one program decreased peer victimization by 50%. Such programs require the participation and commitment of students, parents, educators and members of the community. Effective school programs include:
- Early intervention. Researchers advocate intervening in elementary or middle school, or as early as preschool. Group and building-wide social skills training is highly recommended, as well as counseling and systematic aggression interventions for students exhibiting bullying and victim behaviors. School psychologists and other mental health personnel are particularly well-trained to provide such training as well as assistance in selecting and evaluating prevention programs.
- Parent training. Parents must learn to reinforce their children’s positive behavior patterns and model appropriate interpersonal interactions. School psychologists, social workers and counselors can help parents support children who tend to become victims as well as recognize bullying behaviors that require intervention.
- Teacher training. Training can help teachers identify and respond to potentially damaging victimization as well as to implement positive feedback and modeling to address appropriate social interactions. Support services personnel working with administrators can help design effective teacher training modules.
- Attitude change. Researchers maintain that society must cease defending bullying behavior as part of growing up or with the attitude of “kids will be kids.” Bullying can be stopped! School personnel should never ignore bullying behaviors.
- Positive school environment. Schools with easily understood rules of conduct, smaller class sizes and fair discipline practices report less violence. A positive school climate will reduce bullying and victimization.
What Can Parents Do?
- Contact the school’s psychologist, counselor or social worker and ask for help around bullying or victimization concerns. Become involved in school programs to counteract bullying.
- Provide positive feedback to children for appropriate social behaviors and model interactions that do not include bullying or aggression.
- Use alternatives to physical punishment, such as the removal of privileges, as a consequence for bullying behavior.
- Stop bullying behavior as it is happening and begin working on appropriate social skills early.
References
Anderson, M., Kaufman, J., Simon, T. R., Barrios, L., Paulozzi, L., Ryan, G., Hammond, R., Modzeleski, W., Feucht, T., Potter, L., & the School-Associated Violent Deaths Study Group. (2001). School-associated violent deaths in the United States, 1994-1999. Journal of the American Medical Association, 286, 2695-2702.
Banks, R. (1997). Bullying in Schools. ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education. (EDO-PS-97-17). Retrieved October 7, 2003 http://ericeece.org/pubs/digests/1997/banks97.html
Nansel, T. R., Overpeck, M., Pilla, R. S., Ruan, W. J., Simons-Morton, B., & Scheidt, B. (2001) Bullying Behaviors Among US Youth: Prevalence and Association With Psychosocial Adjustment. Journal of the American Medical Association, 285, 2094-2100.
Olweus, D. (1993). Victimization by peers: Antecedents and long-term consequences. In K.H. Rubin & J. B. Asendorf (eds.), Social withdrawal, inhibition & shyness in childhood. Hillside, NJ: Erlbaum.
Olweus, D. (1994). Bullying at school: What we know and what we can do. Oxford, UK: Blackwell Publishers.
Weinhold, B. & Weinhold, J. (2000). Conflict resolution: The partnership way. Denver, CO Love Publishing Co.
Resources
Batsche, G. (1997). Bullying. In Bear, Minke & Thomas (Eds.), Children’s Needs II: Development, problems and alternatives (pp. 171-180). Bethesda, MD: National Association of School Psychologists.
Bonds, M & Stoker, S. (2000). Bully-proof your school. Longmont, CO: Sopris West.
Garrity, C., Jens, K., Porter, W., Sager, N., & Short-Camilli, C. (1994). Bully-proofing your school. Longmont, CO: Sopris West.
Olweus, D. (1993). Bullying at school: What we know and what we can do. Cambridge, MA: Blackwell.
Webster-Stratton, C. (1999). How to promote children’s social and emotional competence. Sage.
Online:
National Mental Health and Education Center for Children and Families (NASP) www.naspcenter.org
Safe and Responsive Schools Project www.indiana.edu/~safeschl/
Safe Schools/Healthy Students Action Center www.sshsac.org/
National Resource Center for Safe Schools www.nwrel.org/safe
This article was developed from a number of resources including the chapter by George Batsche.
© 2003, National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814.
A Poem for Unity
Submitted by Mary Kay Hafer, School Psychologist
Welcome back to school, everyone! The summer gives faculty and parents time to reflect on the mission of our school and what we hope to accomplish by educating our children in this community. With that in mind, I would like to offer the following poem that I came across years ago. The author was listed as "Unknown". I hope that it inspires us to work together for the benefit of the children we teach and parent:
I dreamed I stood in a studio and watched two sculptors there;
The clay they used was a young child's mind and they fashioned it with care.
One was a teacher; the tools there used were books and music and art;
One a parent with a guiding hand, and a gentle loving heart.
Day after day the teacher toiled, with touch that was deft and sure,
while the parent labored by the side and polished and smoothed it o'er.
And when at last their task was done, they were proud of what they had wrought,
for the things they had molded into the child could neither be sold nor bought.
And each agreed they would have failed if they had worked alone.
For behind the parent stood the school, and behind the teacher, the home.
Navigating the Move to Junior High School: How Parents Can Help Smooth the Road
Contributed by Mary Kay Hafer, School Psychologist
The present school year is rapidly coming to an end. For our middle level students, this signals that the transition to the junior high school will soon be coming. Many of us remember this time as one during which we felt uncomfortable with ourselves. Kids of this age group are entering a new environment with new academic demands, new adults and authority figures, and new and older students. At the same time, they will be experiencing many physical and psychological changes. The actions of parents can help to positively impact on the successful navigation of this transition for their children.
Easing Rules and Authority Anxieties:
- Take the time to meet school personnel and become familiar with the school policies so you will know them, and can help your child understand them. Go to the Open Houses, if possible. Speak positively about the school staff, even when you might have your personal differences with some of them. Have older siblings or other children relate positive experiences that they had with the same teachers or administrators. Encourage your child to make a connection with at least one adult at school; someone with whom they can feel safe and talk to about school rules and so forth.
- Actually take the time to look over the school's Code of Conduct and review the important points with your child. If questions come up about anything in the Code, ask an administrator to clarify it, before it becomes a discipline issue.
Easing Academic Anxieties:
- Parent involvement is the key to student success in the middle school. Stay involved with your child's assignments. Ask what they are learning, what the requirements are for classes and what they are worried about in their classes.
- Let them know they can ask teachers questions and ask for extra help, if they need that support. Help them set up a schedule with a specific teacher for that extra help.
- Discuss study skills prior to major exams, such as final exams. Ask your child's teachers what study techniques or material is most important for your child to know and to study.
Easing peer Relationship Anxieties:
- Support your children as they keep old friends and make new ones. Encourage participation in groups that have both old and new friends in them.
- Get to know the kids and parents of your children's friends.
- Continue your close supervision of your child's activities outside of the school setting.
Easing School Facilities/Extracurricular Anxieties:
- Have your child attend any orientation sessions offered. Have them learn the school layout, schedules, rules and how to operative new lockers. Help them learn about the yearly junior high traditions, clubs and so forth.
- Encourage your child to participate in extracurricular activities such as sports, or other events at school. If you are interested in being a mentor for a group, let an administrator know that.
Perhaps most importantly, just be there and try to keep the lines of communication open so your child will feel comfortable about relating any concerns he or she might have during the school year.Parents still remain the most influential people in their children's lives, especially regarding long term life issues and academics. Teachers can't do it all, and truly appreciate the support they receive from parents in our communities! New and exciting possibilities will be arising for your child in the coming year, and with some good preparation and thoughtful planning, you will be in a position to help your child make the most of them!
Organizational Tips for Parents to Share with their Children
Contributed by: Mary Kay Hafer, School Psychologist
From: Crayloa.com website
A Parent Asks:
How can I help my children get their assignments organized?
Educator Answers:
The beginning of a new school year and at several mid-points through out
the year, help your children develop ways of organizing homework
assignments and school projects. Some tools such as organizer binders and
calendars can be used to arrange materials and note due dates, but
motivation, attitude, and planning are more important than the particular
tools.
Set a time each afternoon or evening, when upcoming homework assignments
are discussed. Help kids pre-plan for big projects that involve research,
writing, illustrating, etc. Establish a routine for children to sit and
complete brief assignments, too. Outline agreed upon expectations and
good work habits to be followed in your household.
Give gentle time reminders to your kids as you see deadlines approach.
Young students often have difficulty understanding the passing of time or
planning work that is "due next week. Don't rush in to rescue a child who
has procrastinated in doing assignments. This tends to reinforce this
behavior.
Organization, responsibility, and a good work ethic takes years to
develop. It is a process that requires consistency, good modeling, and
accountability.
Attention Deficit Disorder/Hyperactivity Disorder "Look-Alikes"
Probably just about everyone these days has heard of "ADD"
or "ADHD". It seems that you can pick up a magazine or turn on the TV and see
adults who have just discovered they have this condition, or see ads for
medications that are used to treat this disorder. In conversations, it seems
that more and more people are saying "I think I have ADD". Some people may
actually have this disorder. However, there are many conditions that result in
behaviors that mimic ADD/ADHD or that may co-exist with ADD. It might help
readers to have some additional knowledge about these ADD "Look-Alikes",
because their long term course of treatment may be quite different from
children with "classical ADD".
One such look-alike, is DEPRESSION. While it may seem unlikely that a
depressed person would be "hyper"(since many depressed people seem to talk and
think slowly and move with great effort), some inattentive childrn with
impulsive and hyperactive beavhior are actually depressed. They may just have
passing symptoms of depressed mood (feeling blue or demoralized) or more
persistent or even
chronically bad moods (dysthymic disorder) or even have a major depression.
These children might all display hyperacitve, inattentive, impulsive behaviors
but treating their depression may be much more successful than treating the ADD
behaviors. Another look-alike is STRESS-INDUCED ANXIETY. Anxiety states
caused by environmental stress may look like ADD/ADHD. Certain children living
in a stressful home situation, or teens dealing with social or academic
pressure may look like they have ADD/ADHD. Helping them cope with the stress
in their lives is probably going to be more helpful to them than the use of
stimulant medications. Even mild stress can sometimes produce symptmes that
mimic ADHD.
BIOLOGICALLY BASED ANXIETY DISORDERS also mimic ADD/ADHD. Separation anxiety isorder or obsessive compulsive disorder are treated quite differently than ADD, even though many of the symptoms of these disorders may look the same as ADD symptoms. However, stimulant medications often worsen the symptoms of these anxiety disorders, which are better treated with different medications or other approaches.
CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT - sometimes victimes of sexual abuse, physical abuse or
neglect can present with symptoms of ADD/ADHD. Even after a short period of
abuse or neglect, such kids may continue to show symptoms that are hard to tell
apart from ADD/ADHD. Another serious disorder, BIPLOAR DISORDER, can also mimic
ADD. The most severe version of bipolar disorder in adults is manic-depressive
illnes, but most common bipolar disorders are more mild. Kids with these mild
forms can demonstrate impulsivity, inattention and hyperactivity along with
overly strong feelings or an overbearing manner, irritability or unprovoked
hostility and often difficulty in "getting going" in the morning. All teens
have these behaviors at one time or another, but the bipolar child experiences
these things most of the time and to a degree which results in an impairment in
their daily life.The more severe forms of bipolar disorder in teens and kids
may show amazingly energized and lengthy temper tantrums
with gross destructiveness druing their rages. These may look like ADD
behaviors at times. Bipolar disorders tend to appear in families in which
depression or bipolar disorder has appeared before.
Stimulant medications often only make these children worse. Lithium or other
medications can be much more helpful.
SCHIZOPHRENIA is another serious biomedical disorder that can include ADD
symptoms. This disorder is pretty uncommon, and kids who have it often have
family members or relatives that also have it. Medical treatments for this
disorder are often very different than those used to treat the symptoms of
ADD/ADHD.
Certain prescription or ILLEGAL DRUG use can also mimic ADD/ADHD. Sometimes parents worry that a teen has ADD/ADHD, when in fact the child has been smoking marijuana for some time and has associated difficulty with focusing, completing tasks, sustaining attention, moodiness and short term memory difficulties.
Other conditions that mimic ADD/ADHD include malfunctions of the thyroid gland and escessive lead ingestion.
Look-alike ADD kids may have all the behaviors of "true"
ADHD kids, but have completely different problems and therefore, should receive
a different diagnosis and often different treatment. It is often
very hard to distinguish what the "true" problem is. At school, we often
recommend that families with questions about possible ADD/ADHD consult with
their family physician for further clarification about a
child's condition. This disorder frequently needs a medical evaluation in
addition to a psychological evaluation, that matches our growing awareness of
the complexity that goes by the simple name of ADD/ADHD.
Some Tips for Improving School Attendance
Schools are responsible for teaching children. But schools can’t do their job
if children are frequently absent. Learning builds day by day. A child who
misses a day of school misses a day of learning.
Research shows that children who are in school most of the time do better on state tests as well as on classroom tests and assignments. A student who is 10 minutes late every day will miss 30 hours of instruction during the school year. Children can copy notes or make up an assignment, but they never get back what is also very important: the discussions, the questions, the explanations by the teacher and the thinking that makes learning come alive. Success in school depends on having a solid educational background. Regular school attendance increases your child’s chances for success
Here are some ideas to help maintain good attendance or to improve shaky attendance:
Talk with your child about the importance of attending
school regularly.
Avoid scheduling family trips or doctor appointments during school hours,
unless it is unavoidable.
Make sure your child stays healthy by eating nutritious food and getting enough
sleep and exercise.
Don’t accept excuses for why your child “must” miss or be late for school.
These excuses become habits very quickly.
Discuss with your child what happened at school each day.
Support school rules and consequences for skipping class and being tardy.
Show your child why education is important. Give specific examples of how
education helps people succeed.
Lead by example. If children see parents taking off work for no real reason,
they may expect to be able to do the same thing. Most employers are not likely
to agree!
Remember, parents are one of the strongest and best influences on the
choices children make each day. Your opinions and rules really do count!
Give yourself permission to set reasonable limits and expectations for
your child’s behavior, from a very early age. The habits and practices
you put into place will pay off in improved attendance as your child
grows
up. One day, your child may even thank you!!
"Will Your Read My Paper?"
Contributed by Mary Kay Hafer, School Psychologist
What should you say when your child approaches you with a first
draft
of a writing assignment and asks this question? Your should be proud
and pleased that your child is eager to share his or her work with
you. However, you may wish to say, "I'd rather have you read it to
me". Why? Because that way the responsibility for the work remains
with your child and doesn't shift to you. Reading the paper aloud
also helps the writer discover for him or herself parts that need
reworking. Usually it's easier to hear awkward phrases and poorly
constructed sentences than it is to see them. Perhaps the biggest
benefit of listening instead of reading is that you won't be
influenced by scratch-outs, misspellings and poor punctuation.
Instead, you'll focus on the content of the story, which is where
your attention initially should be. Following that, you will find
that asking questions may be the best way to help your young writer
deal with the content of the story. If you are having trouble
grasping the main idea, you could ask, "What's the most important
thing you are trying to say? Where do you think you've said that?
Can you help me understand by saying it in a different way?"
By saying you are the one that needs help to understand, you
underscore the fact that writing is a form of communication and that
the writer, at all times, must keep the reader in mind. If you
simply offer criticism such as, "That's not clear. It needs to be
fixed", you risk putting your child on the defensive and making him
or her less receptive to your suggestions.
Some other tips:
If you are having trouble following the sequence of
events, ask
questions like, "What happened first? Then what happened?"
If your child is giving too many details, ask, "Why do
you want me to
know this?" or "Didn't you already tell me that?" If there are not
enough details, try saying, "I'm having trouble picturing what's
happening (or what a character looks like)." "What can you add to
help me see it happen in my mind?"
If there is information to add, help your child resist
the temptation
to tack it on at the end simply because that's where there's room to
write. It's OK to cut apart a draft, add a missing piece, then tape
it back together. Using a word processor makes this task even
easier.
Finally, after the story has been shaped to the
author's
satisfaction, you can read the paper yourself and help your child
begin the proofreading stage. You can write (sp) for spelling
mistakes and (p) where punctuation is missing or incorrect.
Following these tips should ensure that your child
takes both
responsibility and pride in his or her written work. Who knows? You
may be encouraging a future prize winning author!
Stealing Behaviors: Some suggestions for parents and teachers
Contributed by Mary Kay Hafer, School Psychologist
Most children admit to having taken something that is not theirs.
Research suggests that some children and teens who steal are at greater
risk for adjustment and legal difficulties later in life. Some family
characteristics associated with stealing include poor parental
supervision and discipline; tension in the home; or other family
stressors (e.g. abuse, divorce, domestic violence, unemployment); and
parents’ indifference toward stealing. Children who experience
inconsistent discipline don’t learn to associate their behaviors to
predictable social consequences and often become self-centered and
socially detached. Sometimes, children even learn to steal and other
delinquent behaviors from siblings or other family members.
Stealing is usually an early signal of other
problems. It is
often a way
for a child or adolescent to display unhappiness, confusion or
insecurity. Other reasons why kids steal may include peer pressure, risk
taking, excitement, poor impulse control, to support a drug habit, or to
meet an immediate need or desire. In general, children are often
impulsive and find it difficult to control their strong emotions. Often,
stealing is an impulsive act by a child who gave little or no thought to
the consequences of his actions.
What can I do as a parent?
• Be sure that you and your child agree that
stealing is not to be
tolerated
• If it happens, respond in a calm, matter of fact style.
• Take any stealing incident seriously, and never allow your child
to
profit or keep what he has stolen.
• Problem solve with your child more acceptable ways to meet
his/her needs.
• Support your children, but require them to pay any restitution
for the
theft, or return the item to the owner.
• Emphasize to your child why he/she should not steal, as well as
the
possible consequences of stealing.
• Consider individual and or family counseling if problems continue.
What can I do as a Teacher?
• Avoid labeling the student as a thief and deal
with the taking of
belongings privately rather than publicly.
• Assess the level of stealing, what is being stolen, and how
often
the
stealing occurs.
• Communicate with the child’s family to create ways the child can
earn
things that they would other wise steal.
• Have the student’s parents mark all of the child’s belongings.
If
needed, check the student’s belongings at time intervals. Praise the
child for having only his own things, or give a consequence for having
stolen items. Make him return the items and apologize to the “victim”.
• Encourage all students to keep track of their own things at
school, and
restrict students from brining unnecessary items to school. This cuts
down on the temptation to steal things.
When parents and teachers work together, childhood
incidents of stealing
can usually be resolved in a positive manner. If you have concerns about
this issue, consider contacting the school psychologist, home-school
counselor, guidance counselor, or DARE officer. Getting a handle on
this
behavior at a young age may help to prevent more difficult problems later
on in life.